CRITICAL DIALOG

I no longer exist as who I was, who I'm known to be. From now on things are different. From now on I'm no longer my mothers little girl and my fathers nightmare. From now on I am... Free to be who I am.

I am a small squirl living in the big city. Fall is coming. Its my favourite time of year. I cant wait to fill my cheeks with tasty nuts and disappear into my nest that I have been building all summer. My partner will join and we will be together at last

Myself. I am out here in a new city, I don't speak the native language, all alone. I have no per-existing connections to anyone here in Rotterdam, my loved ones are 300+ miles away. I am the only one who is here to care for me. I'm not doing what my mother made me promise I would. Ive started new bad habits, its like I am not fully in control, I'm just trying to survive.
I am in care of my relationship. I look after him, feed him, keep him happy and healthy, he does the same for me. With this comes responsibilithy but I like it. It's recipricated.
I am in care of my plants. I feed them, water them, I place them where I think they will thrive. In return they make me happy! (and they clean my air for me)

My mind springs to elderly relatives. Slowly decomposing and requiring more care and support on a daily basis. I think of my family who have quit their jobs, cleared their scheduled, changed their lives in order to provide a loving service to the people who raised them.
When I think of care I think of two people sat in silence, crying side by side but hand in hand. Care doesn't have to be active, sometimes it is just showing up.
Care is an intimate act of love.

KINSHIP MEDITATION WITH DAGMAR
I really enjoyed this way of recording an event/ happening. I feel it brought us closer together as we got to understand each others movements without being distracted.
In the beginning I felt vulnerable, uncertain of what moves to make and how to keep the moves interesting and flowy. Eventually, I found my rhythm, started to move naturally, the 10 minutes flew by. By the end I felt so relaxed, similar to the feeling post meditation.
On the other side, observing Dagmar move, I think felt a sense of responsibility to follow each move and give her all my attention. The moves she made felt natural, They flowed and I love how my transcribing flows together. To me I see two bodies connecting.

My Zine,

For my zine I took inspiration from the podcast by Bartalk where Sylvie Rosenkalt talked about disability care, as well as the article by Audre Lorde, along with my own understanding about the concept of care.
I like to work with cut outs from magazines, books and articles I come across. I feel this way I am giving my intuition the power and letting my subconscious pick out the pieces of text that will tell the story behind the zine.

I like to keep the text and imagery simple. This way I feel more people can find meaning in the work as it is more accessible to all.

BASED ON CARE:
I wanted to design and make a lino print based on the theme of care. I chose lino as the medium as I feel it is a laborious act of love to carve out an image in detail. It can takes ours of trial and correction to get the perfect print.
My designs are bold imagery paired with a short and snappy text. The text reflects the meaning of the print.
These are my rough sketches of ideas.

METHODS OF DOCUMENTATION

EXPERIENCING THE EVIROMENT WITH OUR EYES CLOSED
This activity heightened my other senses such as hearing and touch.
At first I was cautious with my step, especially when being led around the room in the snake. I didn't want to walk too fast to bump into the person in front, or walk to slow and disrupt the person behind me. I had to put trust in the group to go at a steady speed. There were moments where I wasn't sure where I was and that I might end up falling down the stairs or hit something. These thoughts I documented in the drawing to the left. I also paid attention to my surroundings.